Pizza with the Puckermans
by Mouse-size-Dragon
Summary: Another Boys vs. Girls competition comes along and the boys decide to meet up at Puck's. Kurt discovers some surprising things about his ex-bully.


**Disclaimer: **None of Glee belongs to me; I've just got a lot of imagination and free time (and ADD).

**AN: **None of this is Betaed; I'm the only one who's edited it so sorry for any mistakes.

**Bold** = emphasis in speech, for example a sarcastic tone of voice

_Italic_ = Yiddish

Another Boys vs. Girls competition comes along and the boys decide to meet up at Puck's. Kurt discovers some surprising things about his ex-bully.

Pizza with the Puckermans

"Alright guys, boys versus girls, yes Kurt you do have to be a boy this time. Now it's Friday so I want you guys to get to know each other outside of the classroom and have your numbers ready for Monday," Mr. Schue told the group enthusiastically before dismissing them.

They filed out of the room as the two groups hurriedly started making plans about where to meet. Kurt waved an overly dramatic goodbye to Mercedes, and the rest of the girls, before falling back to join the boys' conversation. Artie quickly caught him up to speed while Mike and Puck were busy convincing Finn they couldn't meet at Mike's house just because he had an awesome gaming system.

"So we've already ruled out my place because there's no space, I've got too many siblings. And Sam's family is crowded in their apartment so that's not an option either. Mike's place is okay but his mother wouldn't really like us there," Artie concluded.

"Yeah, I was over last weekend and his mom came in and asked Mike why he didn't have more Asian friends over, right in front of me," Sam added from behind Artie. "I don't think she'd be okay with all of us at once. And she gave us these Chinese things like Spring Rolls for a snack that weren't that good but she stood there and glared at me until I ate ten. I'm voting we don't practice there."

"Look Finn," Puck suddenly turned and pulled Kurt into their debate. "I'm sure that Asian food greases are really bad for Kurt's skin. It wouldn't be fair to him if we met at Mike's." For a moment Mike looked insulted, but he quickly caught on to what Puck was doing and started nodding along franticly.

"Totally, my sister complains about what my mom's cooking does to her skin all the time," Mike said. "Kurt wouldn't be able to eat anything."

"Right, my skin care is very important," agreed Kurt, somewhat reluctantly since it was looking like they'd have to hold the meeting at his, and Finn's, house. Finn looked upset but since he'd been lobbying for Mike's because of his electronics nobody else minded, in fact most of them had to hold back a laugh at Finn's gullibility.

"Then we should meet at Puck's. They always have the best pizza, his mom orders it special or something," Finn claimed, his desire to go to Mike's forgotten.

"It's **homemade**, we don't order it," Puck told him, in an annoyed tone that told everyone else he'd had to tell Finn this many times before. "And our apartment is too small to fit six people trying to dance."

"So, can you bring some special homemade pizza to our house?" Finn gestured at Kurt as he continued. "Kurt's got enough space for everyone in the basement and he's got it all set up so you can play music and practice down there without bugging his dad." Kurt winced as Finn carelessly invited half the Glee club to Kurt's room. Puck and Artie were the only ones who caught Kurt's almost unnoticeable frown at Finn's plan and it seemed like everyone else was ready to agree.

"Look, um, the apartment next to ours is open right now and I can probably get our landlady to let me borrow the keys. It'd be a lot easier than lugging a bunch of pizzas across town, so why don't we just meet-up at my place," offered Puck. A chorus of 'sure' and 'yeah' followed and Kurt relaxed again as the group settled on visiting Puck's apartment building. When Artie asked for directions everyone else quickly chimed in, it seemed that only Finn had been to Puck's before.

"It might be better if you guys all ride with Finn," Puck looked uncomfortable as he said it.

"Okay, then we can take the Navi-" Kurt started to volunteer his car but was quickly interrupted by Puck.

"No, you should use Ms. Hudson, uh, Hummel's old car if you still have it," he told Kurt.

"It's sitting in the garage, we haven't gotten around to taking it apart yet. Dad and I were going to show Finn how to fix-up engines on it. But why would we drive that old thing?" Kurt asked him.

"Well, it's not a good neighborhood, newer cars get jacked or messed-up," Puck admitted reluctantly. "But people'll recognize that car, and even if they don't care about that it's too old to be worth much and it's already missing its hubcaps."

Everyone stared at Puck, mostly in shock since they never knew he lived in such a bad area of town. Maybe that explained most of his behavior? When you thought about it, a single mother with two kids whose father abandoned them, where else were the Puckermans going to live.

"It's safe," he defended, "none of you are going to get jumped on the way into the building or anything. It's just better not to leave cars or expensive stuff out in the open."

"It's fine," Kurt pulled himself together and told himself that Puck wouldn't steer all of them into a dangerous situation. "We'll be there, what day and what time?"

"It's probably got to be today, Saturday is the Sabbath so no cooking and Mike and Artie have church on Sunday. Um, giving everyone time to tell the 'rents and do homework and stuff why don't you guys come over today around five. We kinda fudge the night before in our house, Ma'll be okay with cooking tonight," Puck told them.

"Alright, we'll drive Carol's old station wagon and we'll be at your house around five," Kurt confirmed. "We'll pick everyone up." Once the plans were finalized the boys split up and headed their separate ways, either to football practice or home to do homework (Kurt). Puck told the guys he had to miss practice, something about his little sister, and also headed to the parking lot.

* * *

><p>"Hey, it's like exactly five." Puck said as soon as he opened the door a suspiciously long time after they'd rung the bell. Turning his head he called back into the apartment behind him, "Sarah, remember the deal."<p>

"Yeah, yeah, my payment better be the best I've ever seen," a young girl called back from somewhere they couldn't see. Shaking his head Puck stepped into the hallway and led them next door. Unlocking the door he led them into a small but completely empty apartment.

"What'd you have to do to score the keys? Your landlady's usually really strict," Finn asked Puck as they all filed into the living room.

"I used my mad skills and boyish charm to win her over," Puck said with a smirk.

"Gross," Finn wrinkled his nose in disgust, "she's ancient."

"She's only sixty-four, and I didn't do anything with her. I have other skills; I can fix things, beat-up vandals, reach the top shelves, and other stuff. I'm just owing her a favor," he looked insulted at Finn's assumption that he'd had sex with his landlady.

"I thought you were more useful for breaking things," Kurt teased. The group settled down after that, laughing at Puck's expense before sitting down in a circle and brainstorming ideas. They'd decided on the two songs they were going to mash together and had started practicing the modified lyrics and some basic choreography when someone started banging on the wall between the Puckerman apartment and the room they were in about forty minutes after they'd arrived.

"NOAH, this is your warning!" Drifted faintly through the wall. Everyone stopped and wondered what Puck's sister had been yelling at him, something about a warning. What was she warning him about?

"Hey guys, I've gotta go, um, help my sister. I'll be back in a few minutes, the pizza'll probably be ready by then, it's been cooking since you guys got here," Puck told them quickly as he rushed out the door. Shrugging it off they fixed some of the choreography and waited for Puck to come back. Twenty minutes later, they'd been smelling the pizza through the walls the whole time, Puck came back into the apartment and told them it was cool enough to eat.

There was a mad rush to the other apartment and all six boys crowded into the living room and the kitchen to eat. Artie's chair was wedged between the TV and the couch where Mike and Sam sat, Finn filled-up the rest of the living room floor, and Kurt sat on a stool at the kitchen counter. Puck stood leaning against the kitchen wall. As they were eating Mrs. Puckerman unlocked the apartment and came in, although she looked surprised to see all the boys in her home she expertly maneuvered around them into the kitchen.

"I take it your **sister **made the pizza and was then banished to our room," she commented to Puck as she piled a few slices onto a plate for herself.

"Yes," Puck admitted ducking his head like he was ashamed. "But I made a deal with her. Don't worry, she got the better end." He set down his plate on the counter next to a covered baking tray and grabbed a glass from the cupboard. Filling it with water he handed it to her.

"_You made extra __Challah__ this week,_" she spoke to him in Yiddish.

"_I needed Mrs. Rubbin to let us use the room next door she wanted a couple loaves. I paid for the extra myself,_" he replied in the same language.

"_You pay for all our food yourself. All this baking you do, you'll make someone a good wife one day,_" she ran her hand over his shaved head in an affectionate gesture. He made a face as she laughed and took her food into the living room and disappeared through the closed door leading further into the apartment. "Have fun boys," she called to the rest of the Glee boys as she left them.

"You know, my mother was Jewish," Kurt told Puck as he gazed after Mrs. Puckerman wistfully.

"I'm sure she was a cool lady," Puck said sympathetically.

"Yeah, she really was. She taught me so much before she died." He glanced over at Puck and grinned. Looking down at his pizza he spoke as casually as he could, "she taught me how to speak Yiddish pretty well." Puck fumbled his empty plate and almost dropped it. Looking pale the jock stared at Kurt, probably wondering if Kurt was going to blackmail him or just tell everyone that he baked at least once a week.

"So, uh, you understood all that?" He asked the smaller boy nervously.

"Perfectly, and let me just say, my compliments to the chef," Kurt told him as he slid off his stool and cut himself another slice of the homemade pizza Puck had made. "I hope he, I mean **she**, keeps it up."

"Thanks Hum- Kurt, I'll tell my **sister** her pizza was a hit," Puck relaxed gratefully.

"_If you're in the market for a husband I'd take you for your cooking_," Kurt told him as he happily ate his pizza.

"Fuck you," Puck told him just as jokingly. Turning away from Kurt he saw Sam drip sauce on the couch. Grabbing a dishtowel he rushed into the living room. "Hey, watch out, I have to sleep on this couch," he complained. When the group stared at him again, in surprise, pity, whatever, he frowned and grumbled. "There's only one bedroom, Ma and Sarah share it. Just eat your pizza so we can get back to practice."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>I don't know Yiddish, I've got lots of Jewish friends back in the States but I've never even heard any of them speak it. :( I always thought it was cool though and I LOVE Challah.

So I joined the Peace Corps back in 2010 and have had very spotty Internet since then, I never seem to have a flash drive with my stories (GWA is actually done) on it when I visit a town or city with Internet, so I'm just posting as I can. Also because of this I've only seen up to the first half of the second year of Glee, anything that happens after that may or may not be included in any of my fics because I may have started writing it before an episode came out or before I heard of it.


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